At 11 years old she took over care of the younger siblings when mom was sick and couldn’t get out of bed. She remembers yearning for the kind of normal parents her friends seemed to have – the kind that went out for pizza and ice cream or to the movies and mall to shop for clothes. This rarely happened, as dad was busy working 2 jobs and was too tired, bitter, and burned out from life for leisure time with the kids. She was in high school before she really understood her mother’s mental illness. By the time she went to college, she couldn’t help feeling as if she had been robbed of her entire childhood. She was married briefly to an abusive man. They never had kids and she has been single now for nearly 2 decades. She comes here to my space seeking clarity and healing from both childhood trauma and the intense loneliness she has felt throughout her adulthood.
Learning to nurture her inner child frees her from feelings of unworthiness and the need to isolate. She is now willing to create meaningful bonds with others – old friends, adult siblings and a new colleague at work who has come into her life.
She described her parent’s marriage as volatile – and spoke candidly of their alcohol induced fights, often broken up by police. Doors would slam, following any number of fights over money, infidelity or too much time with drinking buddies – the list was long. Her dad left when she was 10, leaving her mom and the kids completely destitute. Living out her childhood with an abusive elderly aunt created so much heaviness inside her that she never felt good enough or confident enough to take any chances, even into her adulthood. In her 40’s, she married a wealthy businessman with gambling and drug issues. She has been on the fence for 5 years now wondering whether to leave him or stick it out, which is why she seeks my help.
When the old trauma is healed, the higher self helps her understand that what feels familiar isn’t necessarily safe or healthy. Thus, a new handbook of rules for life and relationships is forthcoming as her mind opens up to the possibility of a better, calmer life.
He remembers his mom driving drunk on carpool night – and the careless way she backed out of the driveway clipping the mailbox. He sat quietly in backseat feeling embarrassed, praying none of his friends would say or do anything to make matters worse. There was never an evening he didn’t smell alcohol on her breath, and he often tucked himself in to bed while she sat down the street at a neighborhood bar looking for companionship. He left home as soon as he could, found a job to support himself and repeated the pattern of alcoholism until he lost his license to a DUI. Now 28-years clean and sober, his second wife is an addict. He reaches out to me hoping to better understand his relationship patterns – and ultimately find peace in whatever decision he makes regarding his marriage.
In our work together he understands he has come too far in his own emotional/spiritual journey to jeopardize his own sobriety or mental health. He now knows that he cannot stay in his marriage without drastic changes in her behavior and he is willing to establish clear-cut boundaries no matter the consequence.
This happens all too often and perhaps even to you – someone grows up in a chaotic, unhealthy home inadvertently, subconsciously chooses the same level of dysfunction in his/her life partner. Perhaps one or both parents struggled with addictions or mental illness. Not knowing what’s normal, it makes sense one could miss the signs, end up married with a couple kids and a whole heap of similar challenges.
Alcoholism, drugs, gambling, infidelity, physical abuse, emotional abuse, narcissism, dishonesty and perhaps a combination of a few – these are all conditions that we can unconsciously draw into our relationships or life, even repeatedly, if we don’t do our own healing work.
Would you like support releasing childhood trauma and navigating unhealthy relationship patterns? Click here to schedule a free consultation: Sensorium Hypnosis, LLC (timetap.com)
Are you struggling with weight loss? Click here to learn more about how hypnosis can help: (1) WEIGHT GAIN, HOW TRAUMA, STRESS AND UNCONSCIOUS CONFLICTS ARE KEEPING YOU STUCK YouTube – YouTube
Click here for more on hypnosis and self-forgiveness: Why Self Forgiveness is Critical to Your Emotional and Physical Health and How Hypnosis can Help – Sensorium Hypnosis, LLC
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