There. I acknowledged it. I said it. You’ve may have suspected THIS for a long time but were afraid to think it, believe it – let alone move passed it. You may have clung fiercely to the false believe that you are inherently weak and undisciplined. Or that there is no real consequence for you abandoning your own health and wellness – at least not an immediate one.
After all, your partner loves you just as you are. They tell you this. They show you this all the time. I get it. That’s refreshing – comforting – consoling. And maybe entirely true. But is this REALLY HEALTHY for you? What if this is the underpinnings of a codependent relationship? A reflection of your partner’s subconscious conflicts and fear of abandonment – that if you get healthy, you may be inspired to leave? That as you become more physically healthy – you will feel better, think more clearly, your choices will be more grounded and YES – YOUR commitment to truth will increase while your tolerance for BS decreases. And THIS can be very emotionally uncomfortable and even threatening to you both.
Consider this. How inspired is your partner to maintain His or Her health now? Since you’ve been together, have they ever given up sweets or alcohol or smoking on their own with any degree of success? How is their relationship with money (I’ll address this in a later blog)? Do they have hobbies, interests, and friendships outside of your relationship? How do they respond when you pursue hobbies, interests, and friendships that are separate from your relationship?
Bottom line – if your partner has an overall healthy attitude and lifestyle – chances are they will be quite inspired to support you in your health journey and will clearly express this in a multitude of ways – consistently and lovingly. And you can throw away any concern or suspicion of codependency as the root cause of your weight issues.
However, if your partner is NOT healthy – chances are they will not be invested in your health journey – and may even subconsciously sabotage any efforts you make to get healthier – or to THINK and DO for yourself.
And THIS my friends is how codependency comes into play as a Root Cause of your “Too Much” Behavior.
If you are even mildly uncomfortable with this topic thus far, then you are here for a reason and please keep reading.
Your partner is fraught with worry and here is the fear-based subconscious dialogue running in the background:
What if S/He no longer needs me? Is turned-off my own lack of inspiration? What if my partner has more in common with others, develops his/her own values, interests, etc. and essentially outgrows me? What if my partner’s needs extend beyond what I can singularly provide? What if my partner realizes that I’m unmotivated, unattractive, or worthless? Who will love me then?
Here’s the irony. A very similar fear-based subconscious dialogue is running in the background of your head, too!
What if my partner rejects the new healthier version of me? I can’t face the feelings of rejection or the idea my partner might leave me. Isn’t it selfish for me to place my own needs before my partner’s needs? I can’t take it when my partner picks a fight with me or says hurtful things, which always seems to happen when I try to express some independence. It’s just not worth enduring. It’s easier to just keep the peace at home. My partner is the one thing I can depend on. If S/he leaves me, who will want me once they discover the truth of me?
So when two people in a relationship have an unhealthy inner dialogue, how can I STOP the hamster wheel of codependency and QUIT reinforcing codependent patterns of behavior?
And here it is….
YOU must be the Influencer – in shifting your inner dialogue, facing your OWN fears, and committing to behave differently – no matter the consequence. And THIS is where hypnosis comes in – in building that inner resiliency piece, in finding that healing formula – that one that can only be accessed when channeling the energy of the Higher Self.
Do couples who succeed in breaking patterns of codependency ultimately stay together? Sometimes YES. Sometimes NO. Initially, it comes down to your own willingness to forge ahead in rediscovering the authentic self – the highest and best version of you. Secondarily, it depends on how committed your partner is to their own emotional healing journey. Doing nothing will never inspire a healthier you, nor will it inspire a healthier long-term relationship with your partner.
For assistance with Weight Loss, Codependency or Couples Healing Sessions, schedule a free consultation at Sensorium Hypnosis, LLC (timetap.com)
For more articles on hypnosis and weight loss, click here: Weight Gain: How Trauma, Stress & Unconscious Conflicts are Keeping You Stuck – Sensorium Hypnosis, LLC
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