When I ask clients to share their self-care regimen, without missing a beat, they rattle off their weekly calendar: gym, chiropractor, massage, yoga, planned activities with friends, and so on. It’s a well-rehearsed list of obligations disguised as indulgences. But when I shift the question slightly and ask, “How do you take care of yourself emotionally?” there is a long, awkward pause. The most common replies are “Gosh, Amy, I just don’t know” or “I do all those self-care things I just mentioned. I count that as ‘me’ time.”
Here’s the paradox: NONE of those activities truly qualify as “me” time because every single one involves someone else. Whether it’s the instructor, the practitioner, or even just the environment of the gym or studio, these are spaces filled with external input—not internal stillness. These activities, while beneficial for physical and social well-being, rarely touch the deeper, more elusive realm of emotional care.
One could argue—and I certainly will—that self-care and emotional care aren’t quite the same thing. Whereas self-care may address some of our emotional needs, it typically falls under the category of “what we think we should do.” It’s a prescriptive formula that aligns with societal standards of “healthy living.” Go to the gym. Eat clean. See your chiropractor. Get that massage. It’s the checklist of the “inner helicopter parent”—overattentive, overprotective, and fear-based. It’s a way of staying busy and doing what seems “right,” but it’s rarely introspective.
Emotional care, on the other hand, is a deeper, more vulnerable practice. It requires self-reflection, radical self-honesty, and the courage to sit in stillness with yourself. It is the conscious act of holding space for your emotions, your thoughts, and the unfiltered truths of your inner world. And that scares many people. Evidence of this fear is abundant in how people’s “downtime” is often filled with distractions and constant activity: scrolling through emails or social media, binge watching YouTube, picking out new tiles for the kitchen, or hunting online for accent rugs. It may even take the shape of being overly involved in solving other people’s conundrums. People go great lengths to prevent themselves from being alone with themselves. Some of you are smiling right now because you recognize yourself in these examples.
Most people cannot sit still long enough to hear their own thoughts, let alone the echoes of their soul’s wisdom. They are not present for themselves. Instead, they seek outside noise—stimulation, activity, distraction, validation, confirmation, or some form of dopamine rush to fill the void. But emotional care requires you to be present for yourself in a way that feels both sacred and challenging. It’s about asking yourself the hard questions: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What do I need right now that I’m not giving myself?
From a spiritual perspective, this distinction between self-care and emotional care can be likened to the difference between polishing the exterior of a vessel and filling it with something nourishing. Self-care, as most people practice it, is like keeping the outer walls of a temple pristine. Emotional care, however, is about stepping inside that temple, lighting the sacred fire, and communing with the divine presence within.
The process of emotional care invites you to meet yourself at a soul level. It’s an opportunity to connect with your higher self, to hear the whispers of your intuition, and to align with the core truths of your being. This practice can be as simple as sitting in silence with your thoughts, journaling about your emotions, meditating on your inner landscape, or walking in nature without an agenda.
At its essence, emotional care is about cultivating a relationship with yourself that is rooted in love, compassion, and acceptance. It’s about recognizing that you are your own sanctuary and that your emotional well-being is as sacred as any ritual, as profound as any spiritual awakening. When you prioritize emotional care, you’re not just managing stress or tending to your feelings. You’re nurturing your soul, fostering resilience, and creating a foundation for authentic joy.
So, the next time you think about self-care, ask yourself: Am I tending to my outer life, or am I also nurturing my inner world? Am I listening to the voice within, or am I drowning it out with noise? Remember, true emotional care begins when you dare to sit with yourself, embrace your vulnerability, and honor the sacredness of your soul’s journey.
#SelfCare #EmotionalCare #InnerPeace #SoulHealing #SelfReflection #SpiritualGrowth #InnerJourney #Mindfulness #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfLove #PersonalGrowth #Introspection #WellnessTips #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #SelfDiscovery #SoulExpansion #SpiritualEvolution #SpiritualCoaching
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Master’s level Rehabilitation Counselor, certified Hypnotist, Energy Worker, Humorist, and Recovering Chaos Addict.
I value intuition over formal protocol and textbook explanations; clients over clinicians in identifying the most effective formula for recovery; joy over suffering – as most of the pressure we place on ourselves is simply unnecessary, misguided, and masochistic.
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